The Bun Holds the Memory of the Meal

 

 

 

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Burgers Down South

No, I don't mean burgers where the toppings are on the bottom (more on that later). I mean burgers in the Lower 48, or "Down South". In this case, Minnesota--L'Étoile du Nord.

Minnesota may be the "Star of the North", but the star of my heart is Culver's. I love Culver's. I love Culver's so much, I have watched this entire video (and you should too). They serve butterburgers, and fried cheese curds, and their own brand of root beer. They're very friendly and they even come by when you're eating and ask you how you're doing. They are a paragon of Midwestern-ness. If you've never been to a Culver's, then what are you doing stop reading this and go! (And if you're reading this while in a Culver's--kudos!)

I got the Double Deluxe Basket with cheese curds. Here's a picture:

A beautiful sight.  The burger has cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, red onion, and mayo.

The burger has two patties, with a slice of cheddar cheese on both. Toppings are lettuce, red onion, tomatoes, pickles and mayo, all of which are located on the bottom (again, more on that later). A fairly traditional combination, but the crisp toppings really help to balance out the indulgent bordering on intense patties. The kaiser bun is topped with a pickle, as we all know how important presentation is. Culver's says that butterburgers are so named not because the patties are infused with butter, but because they "lightly butter the crown of the bun for an extra touch of goodness." I am skeptical of the veracity of this claim--since Culver's is based in Wisconsin, most likely everything in the burger has been buttered. Perhaps that is why it is so delicious.

Here's a picture of me eating the burger:

Feelin' good

I was about 80% of the way through the burger when this picture was taken. I was feeling pretty good at this point but starting to get over-saturated with everything that was going on. The internet tells me this burger was 810 calories but there's no way that's true. Regardless of the damage I may have permanently done to my body, it was well worth it. All in all a good time, and a great time with friends! Thanks Anne and Paul.

Hey Paul!

Paul had chicken--not a chicken burger, just a chicken sandwich.

Dad's burgers

I also went to the Chicago-land area to visit my parents. There I was lucky enough to have a burger grilled by my dad. Actually, the truth is that it had been grilled in the past and frozen--and was still incredible. My dad has a very precise reheating method, and the burger lost none of its juiciness and charcoal flavor. ("Remember son, a gas grill is just an oven sitting outdoors.")

Ketchup, mustard, and a brioche bun are all that this burger needs. The patty is perfect--juicy and firm, and the flavor of the meat is cleverly simple and delicate (only three ingredients, which I will not share with you). Saying this burger is the best burger is almost unfair, as it defines what a good burger is and is what any other burger must be compared to. It's like The Beatles of burgers.

With a tall glass of gingerale and some leftover salad their friends had brought over a couple days before.

It's always nice to make a trip down south, but the next post will begin our journey through the burgers of Sitka.

 Coda

If they're on the bottom then you really shouldn't even call them toppings.

Intro

1. a : ground beef
    b : a patty of ground beef
2. : a sandwich consisting of a patty of hamburger in a split typically round bun
             --Merriam-Webster Dictionary

A hamburger, beefburger or burger is a sandwich consisting of one or more cooked patties of ground meat, usually beef, placed inside a sliced bread roll or bun.
             --Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia

Introduction Manifesto

Burgers are everywhere! From hundreds of miles north of the Arctic Circle, to the heart of the tropics. From California, to the New York island. From deep below the Earth's surface, to the outer reaches of space. They can also be found in the small town of Sitka, Alaska.

I moved to Sitka in February of 2015, and since then I've eaten many burgers here. Burgers at restaurants, burgers at home. Burgers made with beef, burgers made with ground or finely chopped salmon, burgers made with the meat of deer that my girlfriend shot and killed. (I believe they have all been fawns.)

But what is the best burger in Sitka? Or rather, what is my favorite burger? After all, there are different burgers for different occasions. Do you want a classic, traditional burger? Or a burger with lots of fancy shit? Or this slightly odd burger from Wikipedia? (Despite being online, Merriam-Webster still does not have pictures or GIFs and provided no image of a burger.)

No, I am not looking for the best burger in Sitka. What I want is simply a good burger. But I've got one challenge to face--I live on an island.

Yes that's right, Sitka is on an island. If I want to go to another town I have to get on a ferry or in an airplane or something. I can't just go grab some Culver's (favorite fast food burger), or go out to Rockwell's or Kuma's (favorite Chicago burgers), or have my dad grill one up (favorite burgers all around). No, I've got to find my burgers right here.

So allow me to take this moment to invite you on a journey. I am going to eat all of the burgers I can find in Sitka, and let you know what I think of them. On this blog--my burger blog. But before we begin, some ground rules:

• What is a burger?
•  See above.
• How will you find these burgers?
• There are 14 miles of road here, so it's not too hard.
• Will this include frozen burgers from the grocery store, or weird gas station burgers?
• Nope. I will only eat burgers at establishments that prepare the food on-site, serve it hot and ready to eat, and in which it would not be frowned upon to eat the burger right then and there.
• How will you judge the burgers?
• Easy--with my gut.
• What are you going to do about non-beef burgers?
• I believe in a pluralistic view of burger meat. Who am I to say what is and isn't a burger? I'll leave that to the fine people at Merriam-Webster Dictionary, and the many editors of Wikipedia.
• Will you be featuring a variety of guest contributors, who'll offer up unique takes on the subject in an assortment of styles and mediums?
• I damn well better be (you know who you are).
• I live in Sitka. Can I join you when you go eat burgers so I can watch you? Watch you eat burgers? 
• Sure! Who am I to judge? Again, I'll leave that to the fine people at Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
• Why are you doing this? 
• Why not?
• Are these really "ground rules"?
• Too late. Ok, time for one last question, and then we've got to get started!
• How often are burgers round? 
• According our nation's most preeminent dictionary, they are typically round.